Irreconciliable Differences & Privacy

Entertainment mogul Redstone finalizes divorce

Every time I hear on TV that someone has filed for divorce and cited "irreconciliable differences" -- I have to be a bit amused. "Irreconciliable differences" is mandatory language in almost every divorce petition yet on Entertainment Tonight they say it like it's so unique and special to this particular celebrity -- like someone had the nerve to cite it. But everyone, when filing a divorce petition, cites "irreconciliable differences."

The Redstone divorce is a good example of how to keep your affairs out of court. Instead of contesting and putting all of your personal information in a petition, decree and findings, you have the option of executing a Separation Agreement. In most divorces, this will result in additional charges but arguably its worth the privacy. You are not required to file your Separation Agreement with the court, but your Findings and Decree are public record. Instead of detailing every piece of property and every debt in public record (as well as who gets it), you have the option of executing a Separation Agreement that keeps your affairs private. In these cases, the Decree and Findings make reference to the Separation Agreement but don't say what's in it.

There's a real benefit to this for people who are concerned about their affairs being made public.

One need only visit Washington Courts to find out the latest divorce info on Jason Mesnick (The Bachelor on ABC), Courtney Love's house foreclosure, or Kurt Cobain's probate. Luckily attorneys and powers that be have advocated for the actual documents to not be available remotely, betting that most folks wouldn't trudge to the courthouse to find court records other than those about themselves. But if you go to the courthouse, anyone can easily see the actual documents, with specific juicy details, by using Electronic Court Records. Most people don't know how easy it is to access divorce records (paternity and adoption records are kept private), but those that do -- such as the press -- tend to be the people you'd least like to know about your private financial affairs.

In the event you have even the slightest concern about your privacy, or if you have a public image to protect, it's best to do a Separation Agreement which can be confidential between the parties and on file in the safe confines of a private lawyer's office rather than on file with the court. This is something most parties can agree is a real benefit to settling short of a trial.